The National Oddwally day Celebration... Was it really Lady Gaga?...
I was at the National Oddwally day celebration at the Washington Monument in Washington
DC. It was a great day and I was surprised by the huge turnout.
When Lady Gaga did not show up as planned, the crowd began to get unruly. I felt a little panicky and had to do something to make it better.
I decided to give them what they wanted and went back to my car. I'm a huge lady gaga fan and I have many souvenirs and mementos from all of her concerts.
I pulled out the lady gaga costume dress (yes it's an oversize knockoff) and white day-glo blond hairpiece I happened to have in my trunk.
I usually only wear it at home when I feel lonely. Can't remember why I had it in my trunk, maybe a premonition? I walked behind a large bush and quickly stripped down to
my boxers and slipped on the luxurious costume. Then I snugged down the wig. I already was wearing my red 12" high platform shoes so that was not a problem.
I put a large hooded raincoat on and slipped back behind the stage and put on a Lady Gaga cd and cranked it way up.
The crowd got quiet with expectation...I was crouching down behind the stage and I announced over the PA system,
"Ladies and gentlemen, LADY GAGA!!"
A huge cheer went up and I made my way to the stage. People went wild! They thought I was really the Lady herself!
I began dancing around and lipsinking into the microphone. As I danced around to "famous lady g song" there began a strange low grumble from the crowd. The cheers died away and a strange silence took over.
I don't know if it was my clumsy dancing or my white hairy legs that gave me away.
It might have been my beard, or maybe when I stuck my butt out and shook it like a salt shaker.
I decided it was time for Lady Gaga to exit. I took a bow and my blond wig fell off.
I was getting pelted with hot dogs and beer cans so I snatched up my wig and ran toward the exit stairs. I caught a heel on the steps and fell into a big mud puddle.
I stripped off the dress and shoes and ran to my car in nothing but muddy boxer shorts.
I finally got to my car and realized I didn't have the keys. The angry mob was getting closer. I found my keys sticking out of the trunk lock. I unlocked the door and jumped in and was able to get away with my life.
People asked me later what I was thinking.
I look them straight in the eye and I say, "Who is Lady Gaga? She is a gorgeous twinkling star fluttering through the universe, like Tinkerbelle only bigger.
She is a fantasy that we can't get enough of, and I was her, if only for a moment."
I'm Barney Doodle
How did you get here? You're not a whacker or a logger key are you? If you are a regular person you can stay. This site is for Oddwally.com confidential employee news but you can stay if you promise not to tell anybody else. Thank you.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Welcome to Oddwally News!
This is to keep you up to date on all the wonderful things happening at Oddwally.com.
We just got a new water cooler for the employee break area! We used to have nothing to drink but 2 day old coffee. Here's the real story
Ever since the Rupert Murdoch scandal broke, Oddwally management seems to be wanting to improve things. I got my first real paycheck last wed. and now I can take a restroom break without getting yelled at.
More exciting things coming soon!
Bob Smithers at Oddwally.com
Oh, I almost forgot, Next years National Oddwally day celebration may not be held at the Washington Monument. I was supposed to tell you this (by the management.)
I can't say exactly what happened but it was some kind of problem with a Lady Gaga look alike and crowd control. Also 3 portable jons were not adequate for 10,000 people so our permit was revoked indefinitely.
Sorry.
Bob Smithers at oddwally.com
This is to keep you up to date on all the wonderful things happening at Oddwally.com.
We just got a new water cooler for the employee break area! We used to have nothing to drink but 2 day old coffee. Here's the real story
Ever since the Rupert Murdoch scandal broke, Oddwally management seems to be wanting to improve things. I got my first real paycheck last wed. and now I can take a restroom break without getting yelled at.
More exciting things coming soon!
Bob Smithers at Oddwally.com
Oh, I almost forgot, Next years National Oddwally day celebration may not be held at the Washington Monument. I was supposed to tell you this (by the management.)
I can't say exactly what happened but it was some kind of problem with a Lady Gaga look alike and crowd control. Also 3 portable jons were not adequate for 10,000 people so our permit was revoked indefinitely.
Sorry.
Bob Smithers at oddwally.com
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