Thursday, July 21, 2011

WAS LADY GAGA REALLY AT THE NATIONAL ODDWALLY DAY CELEBRATION?

The National Oddwally day Celebration... Was it really Lady Gaga?...

I was at the National Oddwally day celebration at the Washington Monument in Washington
DC. It was a great day and I was surprised by the huge turnout.

When Lady Gaga did not show up as planned, the crowd began to get unruly. I felt a little panicky and had to do something to make it better.

I decided to give them what they wanted and went back to my car. I'm a huge lady gaga fan and I have many souvenirs and mementos from all of her concerts.

I pulled out the lady gaga costume dress (yes it's an oversize knockoff) and white day-glo blond hairpiece I happened to have in my trunk.

I usually only wear it at home when I feel lonely. Can't remember why I had it in my trunk, maybe a premonition? I walked behind a large bush and quickly stripped down to
my boxers and slipped on the luxurious costume. Then I snugged down the wig. I already was wearing my red 12" high platform shoes so that was not a problem.

I put a large hooded raincoat on and slipped back behind the stage and put on a Lady Gaga cd and cranked it way up.

The crowd got quiet with expectation...I was crouching down behind the stage and I announced over the PA system,

"Ladies and gentlemen, LADY GAGA!!"

A huge cheer went up
and I made my way to the stage. People went wild! They thought I was really the Lady herself!

I began dancing around and lipsinking into the microphone. As I danced around to "famous lady g song" there began a strange low grumble from the crowd. The cheers died away and a strange silence took over.

I don't know if it was my clumsy dancing or my white hairy legs that gave me away.
It might have been my beard, or maybe when I stuck my butt out and shook it like a salt shaker.

I decided it was time for Lady Gaga to exit. I took a bow and my blond wig fell off.

I was getting pelted with hot dogs and beer cans so I snatched up my wig and ran toward the exit stairs. I caught a heel on the steps and fell into a big mud puddle.

I stripped off the dress and shoes and ran to my car in nothing but muddy boxer shorts.

I finally got to my car and realized I didn't have the keys. The angry mob was getting closer. I found my keys sticking out of the trunk lock. I unlocked the door and jumped in and was able to get away with my life.

People asked me later what I was thinking.
I look them straight in the eye and I say, "Who is Lady Gaga? She is a gorgeous twinkling star fluttering through the universe, like Tinkerbelle only bigger.

She is a fantasy that we can't get enough of, and I was her, if only for a moment."

I'm Barney Doodle

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Welcome to Oddwally News!

This is to keep you up to date on all the wonderful things happening at Oddwally.com.

We just got a new water cooler for the employee break area! We used to have nothing to drink but 2 day old coffee. Here's the real story   

Ever since the Rupert Murdoch scandal broke, Oddwally management seems to be wanting to improve things. I got my first real paycheck last wed. and now I can take a restroom break without getting yelled at.

More exciting things coming soon!

Bob Smithers at Oddwally.com

Oh, I almost forgot, Next years National Oddwally day celebration may not be held at the Washington Monument. I was supposed to tell you this (by the management.)

I can't say exactly what happened but it was some kind of problem with a Lady Gaga look alike and crowd control. Also 3 portable jons were not adequate for 10,000 people so our permit was revoked indefinitely.

Sorry.
Bob Smithers at oddwally.com